Do you know that how we talk to ourselves really matters? Do you know that narrative we say in our heads really does control the outcomes in our daily lives?
I know a gal (I will call her Autumn) who has been through a really hard time the past couple of years. When I say “a really hard time” I am not kidding. She has had to endure some family and life situations that no one should have to experience.
Autumn was on a new and exciting path in her life. Life was wonderful, a new chapter was beginning and she had dreams as to what her new journey would look like. Then, a terrible situation happened. Something that was out of her control, and that no one saw coming. That situation put an end to that new chapter.
For a couple years she fought and clawed as she protected her family. Autumn made tough decisions, she struggled and she mourned the loss of that chapter of her life.
Where Autumn is Today
I talked to Autumn recently and she summarized her current journey. She was happy where she was emotionally but at the same time was disappointed in “letting herself go” and falling back on her health and fitness.
This is very understandable. When we are dealing with complicated issues our brain can only focus on so many things at once. Excessive focus as she was dealing with exhausts the brain and drains our energy.
Her words were a good example of negative and hurtful self- reflection and self talk. Some of her unhealthy words were “I let myself go, I am a failure, I can’t maintain my weight.” There is nothing positive in these words. They are unkind and hurtful.
As I listened, supported and coached, I suggested that she put other words in her head and talk to herself in a healthier way. Some of the words I encouraged her to use were “I am a fighter, I am strong. I can conquer anything. The next phase of my journey is to focus on my physical health and get back into shape. I can achieve what I put my mind to. I am ready to get started.”
These words are kind, supportive, and encouraging. These are the words Autumn not only needs to say to herself daily but needs to write down and read to herself every morning.
Our Narrative Does Matter
Autumn is a survivor. She is currently working on her health by watching what she eats, moving everyday, and drinking more water. She knows she can reach her health goals because of the positive narrative now in her mind.
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