The words you say to yourself are important indicators of the way you think about yourself.  These words reflect what you believe and what you think you can accomplish in life.

Do you keep track of the words you say to yourself?  As an example, what words do you say when you have had a positive day?  Then, what words do you use when you have struggled or had a hard day?

Positive vs. Negative Thoughts

I was coaching a gal the other day and asked her for 3 celebrations or positive ideas on the issue she had been working on.  The look on her face was priceless.  She replied that she could tell me 3 struggles about her process, but she could not think of 3 positives.  After asking a few questions she was able to develop her positive thoughts.

Hard on the Situation vs. Hard on the Person

A couple days later I was talking with a different gal who had a really rough week.  Nothing had gone right and the challenges piled up one after another.  She kept saying what a total mess up she was and used many different words in her negative self-talk to reinforce this idea in her mind.

When self-talk is personal and hurtful, the red flag comes out.  What I mean by that is people should be kind and not hurtful with the words they say to themselves.  Granted, we all have hard days and hard times but what we say to ourselves during these times are important.

I talked to that gal about being kind and giving herself some grace with her words.  It is OK to say the situation was a total mess up, or that the problem was challenging.  That is such a different message then saying I am a total mess up.  It is ok to be hard on situations but not hard on yourself when you are facing tough times.

Summary

What you say and the way you think about yourself sets the stage for your life.  It is important to be intentional with the words used in self-talk.  Look for the positives and small celebrations.  Be hard on the situation and not on the person.  Be kind and supportive with yourself.

For another story read Choose the Path of Positive Self Talk.