Self-reflection is one of the pillars to living a balanced life.  The way we talk to ourselves and see ourselves is paramount.  We have to be loving and kind to ourselves because this sets the stage for our future as well as for how we treat others.

When we self reflect, do we dream, recreate and think of all the wonderful things that are important to us or do we think about all of the restrictions or negative thoughts about why we can’t change?

I love the concept of self-fulfilling prophecy.  What this means is we become what we think we will become.  We become the person we think about in our minds.  If we tell ourselves we can achieve something then we will do it or achieve it!  Similarly, if we talk ourselves out of something and let the negative thoughts take over in our minds, then that will be our outcome.  Our self-talk is so important to our well being.

Years ago, or really a lifetime ago, I went through a hard divorce.  It was terrible. It affected every part of my life and my well being.   I had terrible self-talk and was so hard on myself and the words that I used were not kind. 

I thought was a loser and undesirable. I was going to live my life lonely and sad. During this time I went to a counselor to help me with my divorce and transition.  She was wonderful!

I don’t remember her name but I do remember her words.  What she taught me made a huge impact on my life.  Her lesson for me was- BE KIND TO YOURSELF, HAVE POSTIVIE SELF TALK, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. They were such simple words and thoughts but had powerful meaning.

Instead of saying I was a looser, I learned to tell myself that I am strong and my strength will help me get through this difficult time.  I learned to believe this situation did not define me nor define my future.  I learned to change my negative, hard self-talk, into positive statements. 

Because I changed my self-talk, I changed my future.  I became the person I was talking to myself about.  I became the person I was worthy of becoming.  I know my positive self-reflection and mindset helped me with my future.  All of this happened about 30 years ago, I know this because since then I remarried and have been with the love of my life for the past 30 years!

Think about your self-talk and the way you support yourself.   To this day, my counselor is still in my head reminding me to “Be kind to yourself, have positive self-talk, and believe in yourself.”